Him:  So this is Brooklyn. Me:  That’s right.  Oldest borough. You look cute. Him:  Thanks.  Oldest borough?  You mean Manhattan, right?  Me: I’m pretty sure Brooklyn is older than Manhattan. Him:  That doesn’t make any sense. Me: Um…   (short pause)  You have really nice hair. Him:  I ought to.  I spent like 120 dollars at […]

ThursDATE: Aphasia

Place:  The L Train. Time:  Afternoon (What appears to be a Homeless Man is talking very animatedly to a creeped-out stranger.  He is speaking gibberish.  He looks terrified.) Homeless Man:  Otamad Krik.  Ayulac!  Niwre! Enialb Sonaj! (This goes on for a long time, the whole train ignores it.  Then suddenly:) Him:  Yes brother!  Let it […]


My friends are, by and large, a bunch of would be celebrities.  That’s kind of how I like it. I hang out with would be celebrity Jerks. When you’ve got delusions of grandeur, you sort of have to have people around to help you sustain them. Someone who will go, no, you’re not wrong – […]