Sometimes people ask me on dates.  They see me on the internet and they think that I’m the answer to their life problems, or loneliness.  Or maybe they think I am cute.  Invariably, I prove them wrong.

Him: Wanna get some food?

Me:  Sure.  There’s lots of restaurants around here.  What are you in the mood for?

Him:  I don’t care.  You pick.

Me:  Hm…  there’s high end Mexican up the street at Mesa Coyoacan .

Him:  You should know better than to ask someone for Mexican food on a gay date.

Me:  Why?  Oh.  EW.

Him:  But yeah, I don’t care…

Me:  There’s a seafood restaurant called Sel De Mer….

Him: Ew.  NO.  I never trust them to have fresh ingredients.  Gross.

Me:  That’s kind of their thing.  The menu is mostly specials that they bought at the fish market that day.

Him:  I’m not sure if I trust that.  Try again.

Me:  There’s a French place called Fanny.  It’s cash only.

Him:  I never carry cash. (gives me a knowing glance, as if I’m supposed to know what that means)

Me:  Well, I would buy dinner, but I am poor.

Him:  All that pie.

Me: Huh?

Him:  You’re spending too much money on pie.  Not enough on your living expenses.

Me:  Hold up… Financial advice??  That’s SECOND date material, Mister.


Me:  There’s an Asian fusion place up the street called Sakura.

Him:  Yeah.  I’ve read  your blog.  We get it.  You like ‘Asian food‘.  (long pause where I don’t laugh)

Me:  I’m not that hungry, actually.

Him:  Wanna make out?

Me:  No.

Enjoy the TuesDATE, Jerks!

photo by Erwin Caluya