erwin caluya

Him:  Thanks for coming.

Me:  Sure, why not?  I’m staying in the neighborhood – apartment sitting.

Him:  I have a huge apartment.

Me:  Great.  I’m staying in a pretty nice apartment myself.  High rise, on the waterfront.  Pretty swanky.

erwin caluya

Him:  My apartment is huge, and I have a huge kitchen. It’s pretty much the best apartment I’ve ever seen in Brooklyn.

Me:  That’s great news.  Good for you.

Him:  Yeah, I pretty much have the whole space to myself, even though I have a few roommates.  One of them is constantly out of town and the place is so huge that It’s almost like I live there alone.

Me:  That’s really great.  Congrats.

Him:  Yeah.  It’s pretty awesome.

Me:  Sounds like it.

Him:  Believe me.  It is.

Me:  I don’t disbelieve you.

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Him:  Okay.  Well…  Hey.  You’re cuter in person.  You’re way cuter in person.

Me:  Am I?

Him:  Yeah, it’s always a plus when the guy is cuter in person instead of busted.

Me:  Oh.  Thank you.  Thanks so much.  That’s…  nice of you to say?

Him:  Do you like football?

Me:  I don’t really follow it.  I was in the marching band in high school, but admittedly I never learned the rules.

Him:  Basically each team has four tries to move the ball ten yards.

Me:  That seems reasonable.

Him:  It’s harder than it looks.  So you’re a cook?

Me:  I am.  I have a blog.

Him:  Oh, I know.

Me:  Oh?

Him:  Yes.  You inspired me.  I was cooking naked too, until my roommates bought me an apron.   My apron says Will Cook for Sex – isn’t that funny?

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Me:  Er, sure…. how long have you been at this bar?

Him:  Few hours.

Me:  Ah ha…

Him:  I’ve had a few, but I’m not wasted.  Believe me.

Me:  I believe you.

Him:  What part?

Me:  That you’ve had a few.

Him:  Do you want a beer?

Me:  No.  I had a boozy weekend.  I better just behave myself.

Him:  I like to butcher my own meat.

Me:  What?

Him:  I like to butcher my own meat.

Me:  Seriously?

Him:  Yeah.  I go to Chinatown and I buy meats from the stores.  It’s cheaper, for instance, if you buy a whole rabbit and then butcher it yourself.

Me:  Oh man.  That sounds macabre. 

Him:  It’s not.  You just put on some inspiring music and then separate the fur from the flesh, and then the flesh from the bones.  Then you render the fat.  I’m a big fan of cooking things in animal fat.

Me:  Me too.  I made a quiche recently with duck fat.

Him:  I hear that makes a great quiche.

Me:  So you just put on some music, and butcher a rabbit?

Him:  Yeah.  It’s much cheaper if you butcher it yourself.

Me:  I imagine…

Him:  Just pull off the fur in strips.  You can cut some of the fat off too, and render it.

Me:  That sounds pretty intense.  My family comes from farm people, on my mother’s side, but I never had to butcher anything.  I can clean a fish, if I need to – if the knife is sharp enough.

Him:  A sharp knife is important.

Me:  Yeah.  Agreed.

Him:  So.  The Giants pretty much won.  This game is over.  

Me:  Oh.  Congrats!

Him:  I’d kiss you right here, but I’m more of a gentleman than that.

Me:  This being a rowdy straight bar, I’m inclined to thank you.

Him:  Do you want to hail a cab and go to my house?

Me:  No.  I think we’re asymmetrically  drunk from one another.

Him:  You mean, you’re sober and I’ve had lots.

Me:  I might mean that, yes.  But we can walk.  Let’s walk.

(we leave the bar)

Him:  Did I tell you how amazing my apartment is?  Oh!  There’s a cab.  Let’s take a cab ride to my apartment.

Me:  No, I don’t want to do that.  Remember, we said we were going to walk and talk just a bit.

Him: Let’s take a cab ride.

Me: I’m under the weather a little.  Plus you’re wasted and I’m not.  Better to just call it a night I think.

Him:  TAXI!!  Take this cab with me.

Me:  No.  You’re  a great listener, huh?

Him:  My friends say so.

Me:  Your friends are right…  Have a good evening…

Him:  YOU have a good evening.

(he kisses me on the cheek and walks away.  i’m left with an image of him, naked in his apron, skinning a rabbit)

3 thoughts on “WednesDATE

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