Him: Why are we doing this?
Me: Why are we doing what?
Him: Why am I here?
Me: Good question. Why are you here? Because I make good lunches, maybe?
Him: Shut up. No. I mean, yes, you do, but no.
Me: I miss you. You come over because we miss each other.
Me: How’s everything?
Him: The same. I’m working. Different projects.
Me: What projects?
Him: Readings… Showcases… That sort of stuff…
Me: That’s great. It’s great that you’re busy…
Him: Thanks. You’re busy too, huh?
Me: Yeah. The show is going well, and it seems to be striking a chord with people.
Him: I’ll say…
Me: Oh no. Right. Sorry…
Me: Thanks for coming, anyway… I know that was hard to watch.
Him: Heh. That’s an understatement.
Me: That’s not really you, or even me, though, up there. That’s an extrapolation of feelings I had, filtered through characters I created. It’s true and not true at the same time. It’s just comedy.
Him: I’ll decide what I think is funny.
Me: I didn’t use your name.
Him: Excuse me?
Me: I didn’t use your full name.
Me: It was very big and very brave of you to come see the show.
Him: I know. It was hard to watch. You’re right that it’s not exactly ‘me’ up there, but still… there was a lot to process. A lot going on. A lot of old memories and feelings stirred up by watching that.
Me: I know. Thanks for coming to see it…
Me: Do you still like hugs?
Me: I still love you.
Him: I still love you too.
Me: I wish that…
Him: Shhh…. I don’t think any good can come of that. Can’t we just hug each other and leave all the re-hashing for another time.
Me: That sounds lovely. Can we take our clothes off?
Him: No. Nice try though.
Me: You’re welcome.
Him: For what?
Me: Isn’t it flattering that I still try? After all the shit that went down between us? I’m still trying to get up on you.
Him: I wouldn’t say it was flattering, exactly.
Me: Of course you wouldn’t. You’re much too contrary to let me be right about an adjective.
Him: Is flattering an adjective or a gerund?
Me: Oh. My. God.
Him: I’m just WONDERING.
(long pause. we hold each other. then we cry for a good long while)
Me: I think you’re a beautiful man.
Me: Can you help me with something?
Me: My doctor says I’m not having enough sex. He’s really worried, and he says I need to have sex with pretty boys under 5 ft 8.
Him: Haha. Nice try.
Him: Why don’t you serve lunch instead?
Me: That’s probably a much better idea, huh?