FriDATE

Him:  Why are we doing this?

Me:  Why are we doing what?

Him:  Why am I here?

Me:  Good question.  Why are you here?  Because I make good lunches, maybe?

Him:  Shut up.  No.  I mean, yes, you do, but no.

Me:  I miss you.  You come over because we miss each other.

Him:  (silence)

Me:  How’s everything?

Him:  The same.  I’m working.  Different projects.

Me:  What projects?

Him:  Readings…  Showcases…  That sort of stuff…

Me:  That’s great.  It’s great that you’re busy…

Him:  Thanks.  You’re busy too, huh?

Me:  Yeah.  The show is going well, and it seems to be striking a chord with people.

Him:  I’ll say…

Me:  Oh no.  Right.  Sorry…

(pause)

Me:  Thanks for coming, anyway…  I know that was hard to watch.

Him:  Heh.  That’s an understatement.

Me:  That’s not really you, or even me, though, up there.  That’s an extrapolation of feelings I had, filtered through characters I created.  It’s true and not true at the same time.  It’s just comedy.

Him:  I’ll decide what I think is funny.

Me:  I didn’t use your name.

Him:  Excuse me?

Me:  I didn’t use your full name.

(pause)

Me:  It was very big and very brave of you to come see the show.

Him:  I know.  It was hard to watch.  You’re right that it’s not exactly ‘me’ up there, but still…  there was a lot to process.  A lot going on.  A lot of old memories and feelings stirred up by watching that.

Me:  I know.  Thanks for coming to see it…

(pause)

Me:  Do you still like hugs?

Him:  Yes.

Me:  I still love you.

Him:  I still love you too.

Me:  I wish that…

Him: Shhh….  I don’t think any good can come of that.  Can’t we just hug each other and leave all the re-hashing for another time.

Me:  That sounds lovely.  Can we take our clothes off?

Him:  No.  Nice try though.

Me:  You’re welcome.

Him:  For what?

Me:  Isn’t it flattering that I still try?  After all the shit that went down between us?  I’m still trying to get up on you.

Him:  I wouldn’t say it was flattering, exactly.

Me:  Of course you wouldn’t.  You’re much too contrary to let me be right about an adjective.

Him:  Is flattering an adjective or a gerund?

Me:  Oh. My. God.

Him:  I’m just WONDERING.

(long pause.  we hold each other.  then we cry for a good long while)

Me:  I think you’re a beautiful man.

Him:  Likewise.

Me:  Can you help me with something?

Him:  What?

Me:  My doctor says I’m not having enough sex.  He’s really worried, and he says I need to have sex with pretty boys under 5 ft 8.

Him:  Haha.  Nice try.

(long pause)

Him:  Why don’t you serve lunch instead?

Me:  That’s probably a much better idea, huh?

Him:  Probably.