Place: Inverness Florida, a Rural Town
Time: My Senior Year of High School
Him: Thanks for coming over.
Me: It’s just so weird. It was a weird phone call to get, in the middle of the day. Just some guy asking if I’m gay.
Him: Was that the first thing I asked?
Me: You asked if I was Michael Martin, and then you asked if I was gay…
Him: And you said yes. I can’t believe you said yes. Just like that.
Me: Yeah. Well. I don’t lie about my sexuality. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I stopped lying about it a few years ago.
Him: How many people know about you?
Me: Whoever cares to ask, plus all of the people that my friends just mention it to.
Him: Do you think your friends are telling people a lot?
Me: Well, yeah. I’m friends with all the actorly types. They love to talk.
Him: Yeah. I hate that about actors. They’re always talking about other people.
Me: It’s kind of our job. To find out about people, what they’re like. We’re not usually judging. Just perceiving. We’re interested. But yeah – my actor friends like to talk. How did you know to call me?
Him: One of your actor friends told me about you, and gave me your phone number.
Me: Weird. So weird.
Him: So I looked you up in the yearbook to see if you were cute. Then I called you.
Me: Such a strange way to meet somebody.
Him: So what do you think of my place?
Me: I like it.
Him: I kind of live here alone. It’s a long story. My mom got a good job in Orlando. So I’m here by myself about 5 days a week.
Me: Sounds like a bunch of trouble.
Him: I keep busy. My friends are here a lot.
Me: I’ll bet.
Him: Hey can I kiss you?
Me: You’d better. How else am I going to prove that I’m as gay as my friends said I was?
(He kisses me. It’s good.)
Him: I couldn’t do that. I can’t tell people I’m bi.
Me: You’re bi?
Him: Don’t laugh. It’s a real thing.
Me: I know it is. I just always thought a kiss from a bi guy would only feel half-interested. But as I say that out loud I realize how ridiculous it sounds.
Him: But you tell people when they ask you. Inverness is small. It’s a small town. People must hate you.
Me: You know I’m class president, right?
Him: Yeah. But still. I asked around. Some people don’t like you much.
Me: I suppose some people never will. This is a redneck town. There’s only what? 400 people in our High School? In the only High School in town? I think I’m doing okay, being openly gay here. I think things are going better than I expected them to when I started telling people. Lots of people like me a lot. Some people really can’t stand me.
Him: You’re controversial.
Me: You’re hot. I’m not controversial. That makes me sound important, or something. I’m just getting by, and trying to play by my own rules.
Him: Maybe that’s what pisses people off.
Me: It might be. Any chance I can get another one of those bisexual kisses?
Him: Every chance.
(More smooching. It’s good)
(There is a sound of a car pulling into the driveway.)
Him: Oh shit. That’s my friends. Shit. My friends are here. Will you hide in the closet? I’ll get rid of them.
Me: Will I what?
Him: Hide. In here? Please. PLEASE.
Me: Yeah. Fine.
(A long time goes by as I hide in his closet. I lay down on a pile of his dirty clothes. I can smell him in his closet. I feel comfortable and angry at the same time. Eventually I hear the car noise again. He comes back. I debate whether or not to fake having slipped into a coma while he fucked around with his friends in the living room. I decide I’m classier than that.)
Him: Sorry about that.
Me: You should be. You made me feel ashamed. I don’t like being made to feel ashamed of myself.
Him: I’m sorry. They know you’re gay. People kind of know that you’re gay. It wouldn’t look good.
Me: This isn’t going to work out. I’m going to leave. You can’t be wanting to date me, properly, if you’re going to shove me into a closet when your friends come over.
Him: Come on. Stick around. I really am sorry.
Me: I know, but now I don’t feel comfortable here anymore. It’s not you. I’m kidding. It is. It’s you. But I’m not angry. I’m just not interested in starting a relationship like this. On these terms. I have too much self respect. It really gets in the way. I’m not being sarcastic, or joking. It really gets in the way of things, my pride.
Him: That sucks.
Me: You’re cute.
Him: You are.
Me: Can I get one more of those kisses before I leave?
(We do. It’s great again.)
Him: (Under his breath) Fuck…
Me: Yes. We should probably do that. Just so you know what you’re missing.
(We do. Now he knows what he’s missing. We lie there for about 20 min.)
Me: Okay. I’m going. This was not the best date in the world. You need to work on your dating skills, okay?
Him: Okay. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say…
Me: It’s okay. You’re nice. It’s fine, really. You’re good at sex.
Him: Thanks. Will you come over again?
Me: Probably not. You’re cute, but I don’t let anyone make me feel ashamed.
Him: Well. Thanks for coming over. You’re a great guy.
Me: You’re not so bad yourself. Just get over that shame business, and you’re kind of a catch.
Him: Well thanks again for coming.
Me: Well thanks for having me. It was a wonderful time. Except for that one part. Thanks for the make outs.
9 thoughts on “ThursDATE: Flash Back”
Oh, high school. I didn’t fuck until I was 21 because I was trying to be straight. But I was out in high school. Weird.
Omg. That would have been perfect if he hadn’t had done that stupid shit. I’m kind of in awe of you right now. You had more self respect than I did at that age.
I am in awe of you all the time Lex. So cute and talented.
Ah what a douche, you should have literally came out the closet mid-hiding.
That would have been fun!
Just remember it next time you’re stuck in a closet, or any type of furniture. Basically a trip to IKEA should give you the entire practise you need 🙂
You slept with some one you had no interest in seeing again? That doesn’t sound fun.
No. It was fun. I just couldn’t justify making a relationship out of it.
The different perspectives here are pretty interesting. Also, I like how you said “just so you could see what you’re missing”, instead of “hey, I’m horny, we’re doing this”. 😛
I don’t know, I wouldn’t have sexed him at all…nor could I personally justify keeping or attempting to keep someone around using the vice of sex…though, it can be tempting. I’m also pretty sure I would have been a douche after that closet thing, if I even agreed to it. Interesting anyway.
But hey, fun is fun.