Selfish, Selfish AIDS Walk

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It’s almost spring.

You know what that means.

Time for the Selfish, Selfish AIDS Walk.

AIDS patients. What drama queens, right?

“Feed me. Change my diaper! Give me free health care.”

Even so. You should donate.

Though, I can’t imagine why you’d want to donate money to AIDS. AIDS has enough money. How about AIDS Research Walk, next year, guys? Just saying.

Here’s more provocative slander about AIDS:

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Hankster Chen

Hank Chen, a friend of mine and a video blogger wanted to do an entry with me and put it on his YouTube channel.  We did it!

I made jokes about how selfish the Aids Walk is, and how self absorbed Aids patients are.  Here’s the footage:

Thanks to Hank for a fun afternoon.

Click here to sponsor me for the Aids Walk!

Jerks.

Selfish, Selfish AIDS WALK

They called me to do the AIDS WALK, and I was offended.  I said, as a Gay man, I don’t think I should be supporting AIDS, thanks!

Then they explained to me (very slowly) that it’s not a Walk for AIDS.  They had to say it a few times, because I’m self-absorbed, but it finally sunk in:  AIDS WALK is a charity that supports AIDS patients!!

Well, I IMMEDIATELY said yes.   Not because I support AIDS patients (talk about self-absorbed!!) but because I wanted to appear charitable.  That’s very important when you’re a public figure, like I’m not.

Anyway.

It’s really sneaky how they do it.  First they ask you to do it.  THEN after you say yes they tell you it’s at TEN IN THE MORNING.  Are you kidding me?  I live in Brooklyn!  I’ll have to be up at 8 am, if I’m going to look nice at all!  Let’s face it, I’m not as young as I used to be.  I might have to get up at 7:30.

On a SUNDAY?

That’s God’s day.

Plus, I have to check fashion blogs and make sure I’m ahead of hipster trends, and buy shoes with no arch support.   Plus, I have to go to Hype Machine and see what kind of annoying music I can listen to to piss off my lawyer friends and make them feel uncool.  Plus, I have to go to my locavore butcher and congratulate him for reducing the amount of greenhouse gasses we produce as a society, by running an infuriatingly vain hipsterish business that everyone in the neighborhood loves/resents.

Then enema, toe scrub, watch my maid vacuum (she won’t do it right if i DON’T), dermabrasion, tarot card reading, hot air balloon ride, casual sex in restroom, puppet show, and drag queen bingo.  All in one day!

But no.  Not this coming Sunday.  I can’t do any of those things, BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO THE DAMN AIDS WALK AT 10 AM!!!

Selfish, selfish AIDS WALK.

Anyway.

Click here to donate, if you feel like giving money to AIDS.

What?  Oh.  Right. AIDS patients.

Jerks.

Sponsor Me

I’m doing the AIDS Walk!

I’ve got a little more than a week before we do it.  Please sponsor me!

It’s easy!  Just click here!

It should be fun, and we’re raising money for AIDS patient care in the New York City area. You can click and donate 25 dollars or more.  I’ll be posting a link soon, for smaller donations.

Thanks, Jerks!