Hey Michael,
Before I begin on the matter of importance, I just wanted to say that I enjoy your blog very much. It’s gotten to the point where I check it everyday to see if there are any updates. 🙂
So, I was hoping maybe you could help me out with some advice. I’ve been seeing this boy…his name is Michael too. We started talking on an iPhone social networking app in January. Things were going great, and we eventually started dating. He is 18 years old. and I am 21. Our relationship only lasted one month because he ended up not wanting to be in a relationship with me. He said he still had feelings for his ex. So we stopped talking for about 2 months after our breakup. Now he is texting me a lot and we actually went out to dinner last week so we could talk things out and be on good terms. It all went great, we laughed and talked seriously about how thing ended between us. He tells me now that he really still likes me and thinks about me all the time. He told me the other day that he wants another chance with me. I’m not sure if I should tell him have it because I feel like he still has feelings for his ex and things will just be the same as last time. He will also be leaving for college in the fall…in another state. I just dont know what to do really. I like him, I think he’s a great guy. What do you think?
-Evan
Evan,
Thanks for writing in. You’re sweet and kind, and not a douche.
At least, I get that from your letter. Am I right?
So this guy wants you back eh? Okay. You seem to like him. So maybe let him have you back? A little. But hey, make it difficult for him. Make him prove that he’s not just trying to see if he can get you back out of some emotional existential boredom. On the other hand, don’t make it TOO hard for him – gay people are frequently emotionally ADD.
You think he still has feelings for his ex? You’re right. He does. That’s how love works. You don’t ever stop loving someone, once you fall in love with them. You just find ways of muting it, when it’s over.
So, okay, here’s my advice: Do it.
Let yourself fall for this guy. Let yourself love him.
But only a little.
He’s leaving. He’ll be gone in a few short months. That sucks, but there’s a power to that. It means that even if he doesn’t act like a douche about his ex, he’s still going to break your heart by leaving. So, either way, it’s going to hurt.
BUT.
You like him.
You should fall for him. You’re 21. He’s 18. You’re supposed to be having epic romances. Let yourself. See where it leads?
You will heal if he hurts you. Let him.
Do you want to go through life as an emotional daredevil? Of COURSE you do. You will heal if he hurts you. Always keep one eye open and know this might be treacherous. I love you.
Michael
Kinda Awkward,
Okay so im 18,and ive had sex a few times..i bottomed now for the 4th time and cant help but feel that its not for me. I hate to say it but, it just feels like im pooping :p