Him: How’s your night going?
Me: Not bad. I had a show earlier, and I met a few of my idiot friends out here for a night cap. All in all, a decent showing for a Friday night, I guess…
Him: What? Why idiots?
Me: Oh, I just call my friends idiots. It’s a compliment, sort of. They’re funny people, and we usually wind up acting like idiots.
Him: I spent the evening alone.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. Wait, by choice?
Him: No, just out of a lack of things to do.
Me: Oh, right, well then I’m sorry to hear that.
Him: Are you looking for a boyfriend?
Me: What?
Him: Are you looking for a boyfriend? Like, someone to settle down with?
Me: I dunno. I feel lonely sometimes.
Him: I feel lonely all the time. Completely alienated. Even in a crowd. Maybe especially.
Me: I think I understand what you mean. The world has become more alienating, somehow, as we increase our inter-connectivity with social media.
Him: Haha… Blame Facebook. (pause) Yeah. Facebook’s depressing.
Me: How do you mean?
Him: I wake up and check Facebook, and after a certain point i get depressed.
Me: Can you say why?
Him: It’s too much, maybe. All these links and photos. I saw pictures of my friends having a picnic, and I immediately got nostalgic. I used to just GO on picnics.
Me: Haha… I can see your point. Facebook has turned us all into voyeurs of the mundane.
Him: I think it’s evil. We used to call each other on the phone and catch up with each other, and now, instead we visit a friends Facebook page to scratch the itch of catching up with old friends. But it’s not interactive. It’s the illusion of interaction.
Me: Yeah. I get where you’re going. I try to keep my social media time as low as possible. And I try to isolate what I think Facebook is good for, and just do that.
Him: Like what?
Me: One liner jokes and self promotion.
Him: But that’s the problem. Everyone’s like that now, and NOBODY’S looking for a boyfriend.
Me: Haha… I guess you’re hunting for one?
Him: Yeah. I’m really lonely.
Me: I don’t like the idea of saying I’m looking for a boyfriend. I feel like it’s similar to saying ‘I don’t feel complete without being validated by somebody else.’
Him: Ugh. That’s how everyone feels. I just really want a boyfriend. I don’t care if it’s not a popular point of view.
Me: That’s pretty clear. It’s been my experience that people fall in love when they’re ready to do it – when the meet the exact right match for it. There’s no use putting it on a timetable, or trying to manufacture it.
Him: Why not?
Me: I dunno. Don’t you think that there’s already a lot of pressure, without adding expectations?
Him: It’s just that… New York men are just looking for the next person to have sex with. Nobody wants to settle down. I liked it better in Berlin.
Me: You lived in Berlin?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Of course you did.
Him: In Berlin, everyone wants to have a boyfriend. Then when they’ve been in a relationship for a little while, they start looking to ‘trade up.’
Me: Sounds like Boyfriend Hopscotch.
Him: Haha… I guess so. But I prefer it to this…
Me: May I make an observation?
Him: Okay.
Me: I think you might be depressed.
Him: You might be right. Aw. That’s so disappointing.
Me: What?
Him: You’re not looking for a boyfriend. But you’re going on a lot of dates.
Me: I’m meeting a lot of people, and writing about it.
Him: Yeah. I guess. Pardon me. I have to check my phone.
Me: Did you get a txt?
Him: No. I just want to check Facebook.
Me: Ah. Right.
Him: Don’t put this on your blog and call me a Jerk.
Me: I wouldn’t think of it. This conversation barely qualifies as interesting.
Him: Wow. Now you’re being a Jerk.
Me: I have my moments.
PIEFOLK 
Jerk
Who is that praying babe! I wanna run my fingers through that hair.