Delusions

photos by tri vo

Me: Really? What’s that like?

Him: It’s super boring. A lot of filing permits. Tons of paperwork.

Me: That’s not what I imagine.

Him: I know. Everyone thinks there’s all this designing and drawing and overseeing a workforce, but it’s 90% paperwork.

Me: Even so that’s a sexy profession. Architect.

Him: Ha… Thanks. So what do you do?

Me: Oh boy.

Him: What?

Me: This is where it usually goes horribly wrong.

Him: What? Shut up. What do you do for a living?

Me: I freelance.

Him: Doing what, dummy?

Me: I do comedy gigs, and I teach improv, and I do freelance writing.

Him: Oh my God, that’s so cool.

Me: What?

Him: I love comedy. I think that’s so cool.

Me: No you don’t.

Him: I don’t?

Me: No. People usually get defensive and annoyed when I tell them I’m a comic.

Him: Really?

Me: Eh. I’ve met a lot of jerk-o’s.

Him: Well, I think it’s cool.

Me: Well I think you’re cool Mister Architect.

Him: Thanks…

(pause)

Him: Is the entertainment business difficult?

Me: Yeah. I guess it is, kind of.

Him: You have to have all that talent.

Me: Hahahahahahaha!

Him: What?

Me: I dunno. That struck me as funny.

Him: What did?

Me: You don’t need talent to succeed in showbiz.

Him: Hahaha, what are you talking about? Of course you do!

Me: Not in my experience. I mean, don’t get me wrong, talent helps, and it always seems to surprise people when someone has it. But, I wouldn’t say you need it to be in showbiz.

Him: You’re joking.

Me: Not at all.

Him: Well what do you need?

Me: Tenacity. Drive. Ambition.

Him: Really? You don’t need talent?

Me: Look at Anna Paquin.

Him: Stop! I love True Blood.

Me: Sure, but can you say that she’s talented?

Him: Stop. She’s likable.

Me: Well that’s different than talent. That helps a lot. So does being good at politics. Showing up on time. Cultivating the image of being a reliable, hard worker. Not being crazy. That helps too.

Him: Interesting. What’s the most important thing an artist can have?

Me: Hm….

(pause)

Me: Delusions.

Him: WHAT??

Me: That’s the most important thing an artist can have. That and tenacity.

Him: Explain.

Me: How are you going to be a movie star without having the crazy delusion that you could somehow be a movie star?

Him: Hm… that does make sense, actually…

Me: How are you going to write an opera, without the delusional belief that you could move people with your music?

Him: But isn’t passion something that wells up inside you? Isn’t that what great artists do? Get fired up and inspired and let out all their passions?

Me: I guess so, but doesn’t it sound delusional that someone else might take notice? Also, that kind of inspiration happens every once in a while, but otherwise it’s usually just hard work. Plugging away, day after day. Tenacity.

Him: Hm.

Me: What?