Him: Hey, thanks for coming to the party.
Me: This is quite a scene. A Brief View of the Hudson. Helluva name.
Him: Yes, thanks! How do you know Victor? Victor’s a good guy.
Me: Victor is the best.
Him: How’s that?
Me: Victor is the reason I do comedy for a living. He trained me a long time ago to be funny.
Him: I bet you were already funny.
Me: Well he trained me to be strong, then. And nice. And he makes fun of me constantly.
Him: I like that. We all need to be made fun of.
Me: I like your band. How is it that I don’t know you guys yet?
Him: Only so many hours in the day? We get around.
Me: I can see that. Wow. Her voice is amazing. There’s a real scene springing up around you guys, huh?
Him: I’m too modest to say that, but thank you.
Me: Her voice…
Him: Right?
Me: She reminds me of Florence Welch a little bit.
Him: Really? I’ll take that.
Me: And also Neko Case.
Him: Whoa. Haven’t gotten that one yet.
Me: If you turned up the verb on her microphone it would sound a little like Neko.
Him: Well I’ll remember not to do that.
Me: Neko has that dark country stamp right now. Don’t wanna copy anyone.
Him: Exactly.
Me: Meanwhile you sound like a light-hearted Leonard Cohen. What would you call your music?
Him: On the phone?
Me: If you were to name it.
Him: Folk-rock.
Me: Hm.
Him: Why?
Me: Nothing…
Him: What would you call it?
Me: Well, it’s unique, obviously. It’s not bluegrass…
Him: No, we’re not a bluegrass band, but there’s banjo on the album.
Me: It doesn’t sound like Old Crow Medicine Show. That’s just straight up bluegrass.
Him: Right.
Me: It reminds me of Mumford and Sons, but you don’t have the drive to make every song epic, which I like. I get time to breathe and reflect when I listen to your music.
Him: Okay – I like where this is going.
Me: If I had to name your sound I might call it… Brooklyn New-grass.
Him: Oh I like that a lot!
Me: Good. That’s what I’ll call it on my site.
Him: What’s your site?
Me: Here’s my card.
Him: Here’s my CD.
Me: I’m glad I met you.
Him: I’m glad I met you, too. Did you come to see us? Victor is planning on throwing lots of parties like this.
Me: No, I’m just checking up on Victor.
Him: Why?
Me: I like knowing he’s happy.
Him: Why?
Me: He gave me a gift that has kept me safe over the years.
Him: What’s that?
Me: My favorite quote ever.
Him: What’s that?
Me: “There are no absolutes in life, except your own opinion.”
Him: I like that a lot.
Me: I like you.
Him: Have another Coors Light?
Me: I have to go meet some gays.
Him: See you soon?
Me: Indeed!
PIEFOLK 
A few years ago, in a bar far away:
Me: Wow, you guys are great! All these years I didn’t think I liked Bluegrass…
Him: Maybe you still don’t. We aren’t really Bluegrass.
Me: Oh! Sorry! What do you call this style, then?
Him:We are New Grass.
Me: Excellent! Good to know. How do I tell the difference?
Him: New Grass is like Bluegrass without the incest.
YES. Very un-hillbilly!
“bluegrass without the incest”
That reminds me of a little quip – I think it was the winner of some contest, actually – that I heard on NPR ages ago.
The World’s Shortest Southern Gothic Novel:
“On the night the hogs ate Willie, Mama died when she found out what Daddy done to Sister.”