Where were we?
Ah yes. Rommie and I were talking about being angry young homosexuals.
And we were making banana bread.
Him: I don’t see why everyone is so fixated on MARRIAGE.
Me: Seriously? You don’t?
Him: I don’t. No. We should focus on banning marriage altogether. We should focus on economic equality for everyone, and universal health care.
Me: You don’t want marriage equality?
Him: I don’t want to get married.
Me: Neither do I. Marriage equality isn’t about getting married.
Him: I just think there’s more that’s wrong with the world.
Me: But it’s a CIVIL RIGHT being denied us. Hold on. You look really good. Let me get a shot of that.
Him: You said that you hated Straight people before.
Me: I don’t. But they hate us.
Him: Do they? I have a lot of wonderful relationships with a lot of wonderful people. Some of them are even Straight.
Me: I know. Some of my best friends are Straight.
Him: So what about them makes you so angry?
Me: Why is everyone asking me why I’m angry about this? Why is everyone not FURIOUS? Why is there no rioting in the streets? The fact that we condescend to ask for what is rightfully ours… The fact that Straight people patronize us with debate on the subject, as if it’s not obvious that they’ve created a second class of citizen. The fact that my brothers don’t burn down the courthouses that make the laws against them… That there’s no riot. There’s no Dr. King for us. No Rosa Parks. No Malcolm.
The fact that we let them shame us into lives of repression – Why do you think homosexuals are frequently clean cut? Impeccably dressed? Why are they such over achievers? Why do so many homosexuals keep their houses obsessively spotless? Because they know that straight people are disgusted by them. And on some level, leading that clean, spotless life is them asking straight people to please pardon the horrible offense of being queer. And that’s when racism, bigotry, misogyny, homophobia – that’s when it’s MOST EFFECTIVE. If you can get the gays to hate themselves, then 75% of your work is DONE. They’ll do the subjugation for you!
Do you know why it was illegal for blacks to drink out of white people’s water fountains in the South? Because white people found them way too disgusting to actually drink from the same tap. They didn’t want them corrupting their fresh water source with their dirty other-ness. The same thing is true for marriage equality. It is the ‘Whites Only’ water fountain of our day. They don’t want us drinking from their fountain. It’s not the same thing exactly, but it’s philosophically the same principal.
How can they claim we are working against the structure of family, and not grant us access to the institution of marriage, that family is based on?
Why? Why don’t we riot? Why do we continue to move to the back of the bus? Because they told us to be ashamed of ourselves. And we listened. That’s why I’m angry. That’s why I’m disgusted. The very nerve of them – making us ask OVER AND OVER AGAIN for what is obviously already ours. How dare they?
Him: You don’t have to get married to have a family.
Me: I know that. I don’t want to get married. But you make me equal to everyone else…
Him: AND THEN WHAT? WHAT ABOUT TRANNIES? WHAT ABOUT DENYING JOBS TO PEOPLE OR FIRING THEM BECAUSE THEY TURNED THEIR DICK INTO A PUSSY???? WILL YOU FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND ONCE YOU GET YOUR RIGHTS? WHAT ABOUT FAIRNESS FOR EVERYONE???
Me: Hey. Hey. I like Trans-gendered people too. I think they’re also a subjugated minority. They are our brothers and sisters. But that’s not what I’m angry about . I’m a homosexual. I’m first and foremost angry about my own subjugation. Maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe you’re right.
Me: They all do it.
Him: Do what?
Me: Sex. In the butt. They all do it. Straight people.
Him: They do?
Me: There are two types of people in the world. Those who have anal sex…
Him: And those who lie about not having anal sex.
Me: Bingo.
Him: Do you feel better?
Me: About my anger?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Maybe. I vented some of it.
Him: Why do you go on so many bad dates?
Me: I think people are bad at dating. Homosexuals especially. They’re ashamed of themselves, and they forget to do things like, be generous, kind, compassionate…. Oh, wait. Sorry this was a bad date. I went on a tirade there for a second.
Him: But you also made me feel welcome and attractive.
Me: I did?
Him: You did.
Me: How would you rank this, as far as dates go?
Him: 9 of 10?
Me: Really.
Him: Yeah.
Me: Why’s it so hard? Why can’t people just be good at dating?
(pause)
I don’t want Trannies to get fired for being Trannies.
Him: Good.
(pause)
Me: Enjoy the banana bread…
Both: Jerk. Jinx! Buy me a Diet Coke.
Him: You can kiss me again.
Me: sadf;lkasdf;lsdkfjas;dlkfjsda;flkjsd;lkjafsd;lkjsdf Why thank you.
PIEFOLK 