Sometimes people ask me on dates. They see me online and they think I’m the answer to their life’s problems or loneliness. Invariably I prove them wrong.
But, then again, sometimes people just run into me at the store, and make me smile for days. Invariably I prove them right.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: What?
Her: Well… nothing, I guess…
Me: Nothing’s ever Nothing.
Her: What?
Me: An old saying…
Her: Nobody buys flour anymore. I’m happy to see you buying flour. Did I tell you? I’m Seventy Two…
Me: That’s older than me. I’m a baker. I bake stuff… I’m here visiting my brother and his lovely wife and family.
Her: How’s that?
Me: I gotta tell you, it’s pretty amazing.
Her: MY brother has a wife and family. But he married a Roman Catholic.…
(pause)
Me: Well.
(pause)
Me: It could have been ‘worse…” He could have married a Muslim or a Buddhist…
Her: Huh. But he MARRIED a Roman Catholic…
(long pause where this is supposed to set in…)
Me: Yeah – that’s bound to be…
Her: We never see him…. He’s always with people different than us…
Me: Yeah that sucks…
(long pause.)
Her: You know, my minister is gay. Of the Baptist Church.
Me: Is that a fact?
Her: Yes. This IS Ohio, after all…
Me: (bewildered) Yeah, you’re right… I forgot that it was…
Her: He’s Gay. And I respect that… You… I mean, look at you… I’m pretty sure, if you look at it scientifically…. I mean. Gay people are smart? Right?
Me: I am inclined to agree with you…
Him: That will be $15:23, sir. Do you have a club card?
Me: No. I’m from out of town.
Her: I think he can use my club card. I’d like that…
Him: You want to use her club card?
Me: Do you mind if we game the system?
Him: $13:04 please.
Me: What’s your name?
Her: Esther Price. It’s very nice to meet you.
Me: On the contrary – it’s very nice to meet you, Esther Price.
Her: If you say so.
Me: I do say so…
Her: Just don’t marry any Roman Catholics…
Me: I probably won’t…
(Enjoy the TuesDATE, Jerks)
PIEFOLK 
Cute article!
thanks mom!