Author Archives: piefolk

Amanda

March 2, 2011 Piefolk

Miranda Writes

You can’t touch Amanda.

That is not your right.

You can follow all your plans, duh.

Let’s have some romance tonight.

Amanda is good, she is fine.

We’re almost the summer of sixty nine.

It’s in a loop. It will come back.

If you graze Amanda I will attack.

Chorus:

Oh! Oh! Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Oh!  Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Nobody Miranda Amanda.

Oh! Oh! Can Miranda ever find Amanda Love?

Verse Two:

You can’t out think Amanda;

That just will not work.

And do not try to sink a band.

Oh, just because she called you, Jerk.

Keep it down, and follow Ruth.

You can’t frown, just tell the Truth.

It’s not so dire, but it’s not a joke.

Amanda is immortal folk.

Chorus:

Oh! Oh! Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Oh!  Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Nobody Miranda Amanda.

Oh! Oh! Can Miranda ever find Amanda Love?

Oh! Oh! Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Oh!  Amanda Miranda.

Oh! Nobody Miranda Amanda.

Oh! Oh! Can Miranda ever find Amanda Love?

Bridge:

Saturn please don’t show disdain,

Just speak the truth, and speak it plain,

There’s nothing that Amanda doesn’t know

Stop circling and follow Ruth

It’s the salt’s a better Truth

You held it in, now let it go

Around the world with Mrs.  Snow.

Final Chorus:

Oh! Oh! Amanda.

Oh! Oh! Miranda.

Oh! Oh! Amanda.

Oh! Oh! Miranda.

All the Apples are inside You.

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Michael Snow lives in Brooklyn where he writes songs professionally with his sarcastic folk quintet, Thin Skin Jonny. Members of the band include Danny Kay, Bobby Finn, Michael Jenifer, Michael Martin, and Marcos Sanchez. He also writes with living legend Frank Spitznagel and budding superstar Jacob Daniel.

Renovations

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renovations

i have to remodel;

my own frightful behavior

has led me to believe my friends must be right -

replete with advice, delete

your photos are slipping away

day by day i erase your face

i efface you and degrade myself with

a face i should never show

even my friends and family

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so, we’re closing up shop to renovate

pulling up the floors and reupholstering even

as we’re stuck with the old plumbing

we’ll soon be swooning over a new line of products

clothespins and grace, new patterns for a switch

higher end garments with a Hong Kong stitch

jewelry i think, eventually as well,

and a cunning coterie of a new clientele – but unfortunately

a new coat of paint will mask your fragrance with its garish smell

until that fades as well

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Apologies

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Kevin Truong 

All Apologies (Apologies to Kurt)

It may take a little longer for me

to let go of things we once held, dear.

I may go through phases, it doesn’t seem to faze you

so stable and clear.

It may be I’m more loath to let go of an impossible dream.

I may seem childlike; ignore kicks and screams.

You don’t understand my love is pure and true;

it’s not an insult to write songs about you.

It’s not a slight to you or to me,

that I held off speaking your name to the sea.

Letting go the best catch isn’t a wise fishing move;

 maybe this fisherman has something to prove.

But if you ever need me, believe me, I’m on it.

I hope you’ll excuse the odd song, or a sonnet.

Now I know loving isn’t a word or a feeling.

Believe me – it’s active; my head is still reeling.

Like any good Fischer, I’ll cast a wider net.

And I’ll let you go,

in my own way.

You bet.

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-2

Renegotiate

Sponsored by Girbaud Denim. Written by Michael Bright. 

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Him: Hey I’m back but I’m really sleepy.

 

Me: Then take a nap at my place, drunky.

 

Him: Allright, I’m heading over, but just to sleep.

 

Me: No. Come to think of it, don’t.

 

Him: Haha. Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.

 

Me: Maybe.

 

Him: I’ll check on you tomorrow then?

 

Me: If you remember.

 

Him: I’ll remember.

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Me: So will I. How’s the weather out there? Fair?

 

Him: Slightly chilly, but nice.

 

Me: Better to head home then. I have to txt a friend and ask about coming over to help.

Him: I hope you find a cool roomie.

 

Me: By the way, you shouldn’t stand someone up for a date and then sign on to Grindr. It’s poor etiquette. Dick move, I’d say.

 

Him: You just told me to go home.

 

Me: I need help. I’m not a flop house. You come over and sit. I cook. It’s not equitable. When it’s time to help you suddenly get tired.

 

Him: Fair assessment.

 

Me: Yes. Therefore I’m busy tomorrow. No date.

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Him: That’s the rules we set from the start.

 

Me: Wrong. I was waiting for you to act like a team player.

 

Him: I’m the worst at that.

 

Me: Agree. You’re not dating material. Not even friend material. My friends do the dishes when I cook.

 

Him: You said it was fine to hang out, video games, and fool around, or cuddle. I agreed.

 

Me: I remember that. I’d like to renegotiate. I’m not satisfied with the arrangement anymore.

 

Him: I really don’t want to make you feel un-equitable.

 

Me: Okay, then. Let’s renegotiate?

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Him: I feel like you may need more than I can give.

 

Me: Why? Cause I said let’s go on a date? That’s off the table. How about… do a dish once in awhile? How about don’t act like I’m a pariah if we’re in a gay bar? I don’t really need a boyfriend either; I just asked for a date.

 

(pause)

 

I’m not happy with you wasting my Friday night with your lame excuse last minute. People  ask after my time, you know.

 

(pause)

 

Me: The best negotiations leave everyone happy. Make an offer.

 

Him: You jump moods very quickly and it’s tough to get my feelings through.

 

Me: You don’t speak your feelings. That’s all on you. I think it’s pretty clear how I feel. I asked you to take me on a date. What are your feelings?

 

Him: Not a lot. I wanted to send this quote from Girls but it’s kind of selfish. Let me find it.

 

Me: No. Speak for yourself. This is negotiation. Say what you want. Don’t be lazy and plagiarize another writer’s work. I literally had to cry about my hurt feelings to get a date. That’s not the start of a deeper friendship. You’re standing me up tonight, the night before our official dinner date, and signing on to Grindr. You didn’t even apologize. How passive aggressive can you be?

 

Him: I want nothing.

 

Me: Then you don’t get anything.

 

Him: I wanted something at some point. Now I don’t.

 

Me: Life is about tone and timing. That’s understandable.

 

(pause)

 

Me: We don’t seem to have a deal. I’m still fond of you. These small feelings will extinguish relatively easily. I’ll table my negotiation until after Mother’s day. Have fun alone.

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Him: Many times that’s the best place to be.

 

Me: One thing I’m always saying is that the pair of eyes in the mirror belong to the best boyfriend in the world. It’s another way of reminding myself to go fuck myself. I suggest you do the same.

 

Him: I’m terrible at being on this side of anger.

 

Me: I’m not angry. Speak for yourself. It’s rude to speak for the other party negotiating. And, it doesn’t get anyone what they want. We were tender and sweet to each other. That’s a great thing. We needed creature comfort. I mistook that for us building a small relationship as friends. It’s my bad. Take care. I have to write this down.

 

Him: I still think of our relationship as small. Just much smaller now.

 

Me: Agree. You’re a fair weather friend. You show up when you’re horny, or lonely, or hungry and make me do most of the work. That’s not acceptable. That’s selfish and I won’t accept those terms. No deal.

 

Him: I’ll let you go. I’m sorry we didn’t read things the same way.

 

Me: Your cruelty is quite elegant, but don’t be sorry. I’m already adjusting my expectations. I really must go write something.

 

Him: Okay. Goodnight.


Me: One more thing: Neither of us are Girls, but one of us is in his 20s. Don’t let Lena Dunham speak for you. You speak for you. That’s good negotiation.

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-3

 

 

 

Slowly

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tri vo studio

You can get better slowly.

You don’t have to drag yourself through the mud, or listen to people that sneer at you.

You don’t have to take a class at the best school, or the worst.

You can keep practicing. People will see you and not at the same time.

When the times comes, the good people will help you.

As you burn bright, people will see you less. It’s difficult to stare at the sun.

Shadows might get longer, sometimes, and night is half of the Yin/Yang, but joy is always right around the corner.

You can start by making your bed in the morning, and seeing how that alters your perspective.

You can learn things. Learn to sew. Learn to cook.

You don’t have to agree with another person’s point of view. Your opinion is most valid.

You can ask for help if you need it, but don’t ask for help unless you need it.

You can practice French. You remember it from school:

Les gens sont dans la moyenne, mechant même. Nous ne pouvons pas contrôler leur comportement. Nous ne pouvons contrôler nous-mêmes. Nous sommes gentils. Nous sommes gracieux. Nous sommes élégant. Nous sommes complexe.

La plupart de tous … nous ne récompensons pas les mauvais comportements.

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Naruki Kukita

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Michael

girbaud1

 

I dated someone named Leslie when I was younger.

Leslie was dating another guy named Michael. My twin brother, Michael Bright.

Leslie said, my whole life is a Cycle of Michaels.

That made me feel un-special.

When I found out it was Michael Bright, I was pissed. So angry.

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It seems so silly now, to be mad at Leslie, or jealous of Michael Bright. We all work together now.

My assistant is annoyed with me, these days. He’s very talented; won’t do the things I tell him to do.

I’ve lost a few gigs because he wasn’t on top of things. Oh well. I think I’ll fire myself as his boss and upgrade him to Friend.

There’s a new Cycle of Michaels around me right now. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not jealous. They’re kind people. That’s one of them, playing the guitar.

Thanks for reading, everyone. It’s my privilege to write for such a wide audience.

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-1

Oranges

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tommy kha

I’ve been going through my early writings. 

Here’s a poem I wrote when I was 14.

Thanks for saving it Mom; you’re right. I am a writer.

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oranges

you like attention

you say

and it makes me sad

to think

people over on the other side of the room

don’t like oranges

but an orange is very dear to me

and always will be

your eyes are beautiful, though

they don’t understand everything

it’s better not to know

and be happy

you worry about being fat

shaped like a fruit

i like oranges

and, if i hear you cluck once

even if i don’t turn and see

i’ll see with my ears

how lovely it is to bite the peel of an orange

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Socks

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tri vo studio

Socks

Someone once said, “One can never have enough socks.” I think it was Dumbledore.  I am inclined to
agree now.

I need socks. My life needs socks. Even if I don’t need Life, I still need socks. Socks keep you warm.
Life leaves you out cold.

Socks can smell like fresh laundry on demand. Even when socks stink, you can wash them. My
laundromat won’t take my Life, it’ll accept no quarters of mine. I’ve been wearing the same Life since
I was born. I change my socks frequently.

I like wearing socks fresh out of the dryer, or sun-dried socks; they’re a kind of a crisp, stiff pocket
that yields to your foot, leaving you warm and fuzzy-feeling. Life barely yields to anything.

Socks are cheap. Life is expensive.

I think I’ll live a life of socks from now on.

Shuan Sim is a journalist in Manhattan.

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